An Open Letter to CNN...

Dear CNN,

A single shot of a small smoke stack in Italy is boring. This is not news. You're trying to convince people that they actally care about seeing smoke rise from the Sisting Chapel. You are trying to make this a live, breaking event. It is not. It is boring. They're selecting a new pope, great... tell me when it happens. In the meantime, why don't you go find a closed door somewhere to focus on in the hopes that someone will exit through it. Or better yet, I'm sure that somewhere, there is a squirrel learning to water-ski.

While you're at it, I think you should just drop this 24 hour news idea. There isn't 24 hours of news. That's why you have 2 hours of news a day, interspersed with eleven hours of "This was news" and eleven hours of "This may become news."

Oh yeah, and stop pretending that you're objective. Remember when journalism used to mean finding out the truth? Those were heady days. When did news become repeating what someone said? Next time, you should tell me if what they're saying is complete bullshit or not. Otherwise, I will just presume that it is.

Finally, I think you should expand James Earl Jones's role. Instead of just reading "This is CNN," I think he should read everything. His voice is a delight.

Sincerely,

David J. Ford