Sour Grapes

Speaking of Addictions:

I remember one day my mother brought home a bunch of grapes from the store. I popped a few in my mouth and realized that these were some Damn Good grapes. I had a few more, and then a few more, until with a sudden shock, I realised that I was going through grapes like ghonorrea through a whore-house... fast and furious. But it was too late, I couldn't stop.

My mother came in and said, "David! For God's sake, you're eating all the grapes, there'll be none left!"

"I can't help it Mom," I said, "I'm addicted."

My mother seemed very taken aback. I thought she was overreacting (afterall they were just grapes), until I realised that while I stood there plowing through the grapes, my mother thought I had said:

"I can't help it Mom - I'm a Dick-Head."