Fair Enough

You know, it's just not fair. I've been sick for the past four days or so, and I've been coughing like a banshee. Now, I don't know why I used the term "banshee" there, since they're more clebrated for their screaming than their coughing now aren't they. But I guess I was trying to say that I have been coughing as much as a banshee screams, which still doesn't really make any sense. Nevertheless, folks will tell you, when I've got a cough... well, it's a miserable spectacle. So I've been sucking back these cough drops and throat lossanges. But then, I start getting these canker sores on my tongue from all these sweet cough drops. And if I take another one, my tongue really smarts, but if I don't take them I cough until I'm wretching. It's pleasant, believe me. Someone's grandma (I don't know whose, I just know it wasn't mine) used to tell us that Canker sores were lie-lumps and we would get them on our tongues if we told fibs. But that's hardly fair because I've been very truthful lately. I really haven't lied anymore than that required of me (you know like, "You look great!" or "You'll be fine!"). But I don't put a whole lot of stock into that because I think it was the same grandma who told us that if we pissed on the side of the road we would get a sty in our eye. Go figure. My eyes are clear and the roadways of my life are positively saturated, so take that, someone's grandma. And you know what else isn't fair? The air-conditioner in my room broke down at 3 AM and I was tossing and turning in the heat the rest of the night. That wouldn't be fair on normal occasions, but remember, I'm sick and I need my rest. And the worst part is that everyone always told me that life was fair. I really didn't see this coming.