Beware False Idols...

So, this time around, I've watched more episodes of American Idol than ever before. I don't know if I'd say that I'm hooked, but I am interested to see the result.

But everytime I watch that show I get riled up, and it's all because of this Ryan Seacrest character. What a chute-pakora that guy is. What's his problem? I've never met him, but I can't stand him. I hate him to the core of my being. Who ever thought that he was a good choice? He's terrible. Every single show it's the same jokes (if you can call them that). He insults Simon in the lamest way possible, and when Simon cuts him back with his acid tongue, he says something like, "Oh real mature Simon." God, the guy drives me to distraction. Ok, yeah, Simon and Paula are in love, really funny. Give it up. And someone told me that he got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. What! Do they give those things out like candy at a parade these days? Do you stop at Hollywood and Vine and some guy puts a flyer under your windshield wiper that says, "Your name on the walk of fame, just $2.50, please print clearly"? I just really hope that's not true. I hope he just painted a star on the sidewalk in front of his mom's house.

If Ryan Seacrest were in the same room as I am right now, I'd be mad that he was using a share of my oxygen. And I just know he'd be reading over my shoulder, breathing in my ear, and saying something like, "Writin' the blog are ya Dave? People read it last week, but are they going to do the same this week? We'll find out, after the break." Then I would snap... lose it, and punch him directly in the teeth. Then I'd hit him with a flurry to the solar-plexus until he doubled up, then another upper-cut to the jaw. Then, while he writhed on the floor, I would go put my shoes on so I could come back and kick him in the stomach a few times. Then I would prod his motionless form with a stick for a minute and say, "Seacrest... Out."

God I hate that guy.