Monday, November 14, 2005

Pigeon Holed...

It is with a heavy heart that I garner the courage to relate the final chapter of the pigeon family, with whom I shared my bathroom. For weeks, I had been peeping in on the pigeon sanctuary while I peed. The old Peep and Pee play. I watched the baby pigeons grow from hideous, reptilian creatures into hideous, avian creatures, and finally into what one might imagine could possibly become a pigeon some day. I had named them "Squawky" and "Stinky" for reasons you can probably guess. As it turned out, "Stinky" never shut up, and "Squawky" stunk to high-heavens, but I think they appreciated the effort from their Dawood-mamo (Sorry, joke applicable only to Pakistanis). I found it heartwarming to watch the mother pigeon shelter the young, while the male stood perched on the outer window, keeping a watchful eye. Both parents worked together to raise the children, just like humans… well, theoretically just like humans.

For the duration of my stay at Subaru Kazoo’s place, his parents had been living in Saudi Arabia. This made for a cozy pad for myself, Subaru, Winston and Fiesty (our kittens) and Squawky, Stinky, Mama and Papa Pigeon. Our latest intelligence dossiers had Subaru’s parents coming back into Karachi in December. So it was a shock when our intelligence gathering was shattered by the Downing Street memo that came in the form of a call from Subaru’s mother. The Subaru Legacy (sorry, joke applicable only to North Americans) would be returning mid-October instead. Frantically, I began calling in favours, as I realized that in under four days, I would need a new place to stay. I have to admit, that in the frenzy of my preparations, I forgot all about my feathered friends.

My last night at Subaru’s place, I wandered into the bathroom. It was a few moments before I realised what was wrong. Silence. It was quiet... Too quiet. I took a whif of the surrounding air, and didn’t find the familiar acrid smell of pigeon poop. I hurried over to the window and found… nothing. The nest was gone, the pigeons were gone, and their babies were gone. I was in shock. I had forgotten all about the fate of my pigeons pals, although, to be fair, I have no idea what I would have done if I had remembered. In preparation for Mrs. Kazoo’s return to the master-bedroom, the pigeons were deemed unwanted guests and cleared out without notice. I reflected for a moment on the fact that apparently, the nest of noisy, smelly birds were considered "A-Ok" while I was occupying the room, but I let it go at that.

I was subdued and saddened. Just then, the mother pigeon returned and squeezed her way into the window, despite it being closed much tighter than before. She was in a frantic state, and I wasn’t sure she could get out. Gingerly, I opened the screen and propped the window open wider. Mama Pigeon flew out of my life without leaving so much as a feather behind. I thought of the ugly little baby pigeons and their unceremonious launch from the window-sill. I conditioned my brain to acknowledge that perhaps they had had a chance to learn how to fly before their nest was deemed inappropriate. But I knew that it was a slim chance, and I cursed the servant who had cleared out my pigeons with so little care. I vowed never to speak to him again, but since I wouldn’t be living there anymore, and we don’t speak the same language, chances of that were pretty good anyway.

So here’s to Sqawky and Stinky. I’ll always remember the day that two flew over the cuckoo’s nest. Fly high little ones. Find that shining marble statue and shit all over it. Coo-coo catchoo.

8 Comments:

At 4:46 AM, Blogger sheandher338 said...

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :))

 
At 11:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....I bet winston and fiesty feasted on those demon spawns!

 
At 10:33 AM, Blogger watercolor said...

*sniffle...*

 
At 7:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is a interesting blog, i got here searching for a university, and got to this blog..

i like your post why am i here.

 
At 6:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Dave,
I'm sorry to hear about your little guys. It's odd how attached you can get to stinky, funny looking, crazy things. But hey, I'm still with my boyfriend. Ba boom boom cha...

 
At 8:15 PM, Blogger noyaara said...

Hello. Read your other pigeon piece in the sunday times ...quite funny. also your performance last night was hilarious - all pakistanis are suckers for toilet humor no? your i-am-canadian tshirt reminded me of the (molson?) ad...the beaver in the bar thing..quite funnay wasnt it? rock on! perhaps blog on! would be more appropriate

 
At 10:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am waiting with bated breath for a new entry.

 
At 9:49 PM, Blogger Abbas Halai said...

well not really bated on this side but waiting nevertheless.

you gonna be in khi for christmas? would love to meet up as i'll be heading down.

 

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