Very Very Hot.... Very Very Spicey...

Everywhere I’ve ever lived, it has always been essential to find an ideal "drunk food" eatery. I think you know what I’m talking about. That special, 24-hour haven of sustenance that is ridiculously bad for you, and somehow only reaches its full flavour potential at three in the morning. You know you want it, you know you don’t really need it, you know you’ll regret it tomorrow, but in the here and now, you gotta have it. Back home we had the "Milk Mart" which I understand is no longer open 24 hours, which is truly a blow to all teenagers in Eastern Charlotte County. In Fredericton we had the Diplomat, which I always found to have pretty crappy food but with a club sandwich that usually hit the mark. In Kingston we had the pizza-slice-erias and the crazy donair place (where I once saw a guy drop his pants and dance for a free donair.) Calgary has all kinds of late-nights: The Husky House if you were feeling old school, Denny’s if you didn’t want any surprises and Humpty’s if you wanted food poisoning.

Karachi is no exception. In fact, there’s a wealth of places to eat after hours in this city. But far and away my favourite has got to be Hot n Spicy in khadda market. I don’t have a distinct memory ( I wonder why?) of the first time I ever partook of the sinful pleasure of a garlic mayor chicken kabob role, but from then on I was hooked. Those little things are just about the most addictive food I have ever encountered. I have had them a few times while sober, and sure, they’re still pretty tasty, but somehow not quite as good. A good friend of mine (whose name I won’t bother with since anyone who knows him will guess anyway) told me that he was once involved in a two year love affair with garlic-mayo from Hot n Spicy. And I have to say that I know what he means. I can’t say it’s a love affair exactly, but at least a slight crush.

Hot N Spicy’s menu is the type of guide that is pretty much pointless to look at. It has so many entries that the thing reads like the stock exchange. I think there are maybe 40 basic choices but each one has 10 to 15 variations, so you end up with this overwhelming list of caloric calamity to choose from. So what’s it going to be? The chilli garlic mayo cheese roll or the spicy chilli garlic mayo cheese roll? My current favourite, discovered out of the blue last week by my pals Sophs and Raaheen is the Spicy Chilli Garlic Mayo Broast. As you probably know, or maybe you don’t because I don’t find it’s a common term at home, broast is just fried chicken… like KFC style. And as if that isn’t unhealthy enough, leave it to Pakistanis to smother the thing in garlic infused mayonnaise. It’s not so much that the chicken is greasy but more so that the grease is just a little chickeny.

"Hello Brain? This is arteries… we’re shutting down."

It’s heaven.