Not Really!

When I woke up this morning to a ringing phone, I decided that I was going to respond to every callers questions with a lame ass "Not Really" as much as I could. It sounded like fun at the time. I've been quite sick for the past week and have had absolutely no energy to do anything but lay in my own filth and hollar at the phone every time it rings. Do people not understand that when people are sick it is not polite to bother them with idiot calls? Apparently not because when it seems like I might finally get some sleep, the phone rings once again. Today was no different and I got a little pissy towards the end of it. Here are a few highlights:

My mom called and asked if I was feeling better and if I wanted her to pick anything up for me? I said no, not really to both questions. I thought that was it, but she then went on to tell me how my Sister-in-law has been feeling over the past week. There's a baby on the way and everyone is excited. I'll get excited when I see the final results in May. Thanks for the updates though.

My Dad called and wanted to know if I knew anything about the hydraulic lift on his tractor? Obviously I said not really. He then told me that since I was sitting home doing nothing anyways, that I should research the problem for him and that he'd come by this evening to try and figure it out. It's 7:30pm and I still haven't seen him. The tractor must have quit on the ride over.

My Brother stopped in and wanted to know if I knew why the cd player in his truck was cutting in and out? I said that it was probably a faulty wire connection and gave him a new plug-in to try. He called earlier and said that was the problem and it works great and he was keeping the plug-in.

Cindy from Aliant called and wanted to know if I was happy with my long distance plan? I said not really, but was too tired to go through the motions of changing it. We talked for a bit afterwards to. She hates her job, but it's paying her way through school. She's going to be a nurse. I said good luck and hung up.

Jeff called and wanted to know how the new record was coming? I said good, but nothing has really been done since I've been sick. He then proceeded to call me a whiny bitch and started hitting the numbers on the phone. I heard him laughing so I hung up.

My mom called again asking if I was sleeping? I said not really. She then told me that my sister-in-law was having a hard time tying her shoes. I told her to buy some velcro shoes and hung up.

Trisha from the Alumni Association called and wanted to know if I would be willing to donate $25 for some scholarship program they were starting? She got a huge NO, NOT REALLY! She then asked why? After five minutes of me explaining why I thought people should pay for their own education like I had to do and that I was a poor musician and $25 is my daily liquor bill. She got snarky and said I probably sucked anyways and hung up on me. I laughed. She is right.

Jeff called again and wanted to know how the record was coming? I called him a dumb fuck and told him he already asked me that earlier. He then called me a bitch again and asked when the record would be done? I said he'd know when I knew. We talked about American Idol after that and we're picking the winners. I got Constantine. He's dreamy in the leather coat. I'm going to call him Fonzy from now on. Jeff said Fonzy sucks and that I wouldn't know an American Idol if I hit one with my car. I thought that was a correct assumption and would like to find out for sure. Anyone seen my keys?

Some dude from the bank called and wanted to know if I was satisfied with the customer service there? Once again, I said no, not really. He then asked why? I told him there weren't enough hours in the day to tell him why I thought the service sucked and hung up on him.

Shelly called and wanted to know if I knew where she could buy Christian music books? I told her to try a church. She called me a smart ass and asked if I was feeling better? I said no and went into a coughing fit. She apologized for asking the dumb question. I said it was fine and then asked if she wanted to make out sometime? She said no, not really.

Well, the phone hasn't gone off in awhile, so I'm going to try and lay down. Night.
-Troy-