Feeling Crabby...

You know what really pisses me off? Ok, I'm a rational, intelligent person, and my mom says I'm special, so I don't like to think that when I was born, and what planet was where and who was in whose house and in conjunction with the shadow of whatever such celestial nonsense, has any effect on who I am today. In short, I have always tried to consider astrology and horoscopes and all the rest a retarded, bullshit science for the weak. But what really pisses me off is that if you read the description of people born in my sign, it's almost exactly like me. I was born on July 11th (7/11, very convenient no?) so I'm a Cancer. Pick up an astrology book, read the first paragraph about Cancerians, and I almost guarantee it fits me to a tee. And what's really irritating, is that you don't even have to find a book by some celestial guru, you could pick up a damn astrology key-chain, and you'd say, "Yep, that's Dave." It's not enough to make me angry, but it'll get me good and passive aggressive (that'll be in there, I assure you).

And while we're on the subject, why does my sign have to also be a terminal disease? Other people get to be Scorpio, which sounds like a cool-assed super hero who fights with the sting of justice. Or there's Sagitarius that sounds all philosophical and wise. Nope, I get Cancer. Why can't there be other terminal disease signs? "What's your sign baby?"... "Lupus" .... "Parkinsons" ... "Syphilis"... Man, I would kill to be Syphilis (although it would probably lose its appeal as a pick up line quickly). If I had been born a couple weeks later I'd get to be a Lion, but no, what do I get? The crab. Wow, that's exciting. Well, I guess it's more interesting than a scale... at least you get to scuttle around a bit, instead of waiting for someone to weigh something, (unless they're weighing crabs, which would be distressing).

Oh well... I'll just sit here being passionate and creative, trying to please everyone all the time, feeling guilty, dwelling on things everyone else has forgotten about, and bottling up my feelings until that passive aggressive fury lashes out uncontrollably.

I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent seas.