The Formula

Back in university, my roommate Jeff and I used to debate the merits of "The Formula." For a long time, I was under the impression that Jeff had conceived of The Formula himself. But in recent years, I have come across The Formula in many places, thus leading me to conclude that, even though Jeff never actually "said" he invented The Formula, he is still a lying bastard.

For those that do not know, "The Formula" is a tool for men, used to determine the youngest acceptable age of women you can date. What you do is take your age, divide it in half, and then add seven. If you’re a mathematically inclined type of person that would be MIN = x/2+7.

If you think about it, it makes sense. When you’re 20, the youngest girl you should date, according to The Formula would be 17, which makes sense, because none of us really want to go to jail. But by the pure genius of The Formula, the gap widens as you grow older, allowing for the fact that age ceases to be as important as you get older. So when you’re 30, your minimum dating age would be 22, and subsequently, 40 would be 27. As for me, at 26, a girl would have to be 20 to make the cut, which, I must admit, makes me feel young and vibrant.

Almost everyone agrees that the formula makes sense. Although, I explained it to one guy recently who did not agree at all, stating that he was almost thirty, and the last girl he had been with was seventeen. I nodded my head and smiled agreeably, while backing away slowly and trying not to make eye contact.

What Jeff and I always debated, was whether The Formula worked in reverse. At that point, without really intending to, I had almost always dated older women (due, I’m sure, to my stunning maturity and intelligence, or perhaps my predeliction for Karaoke single bars). And so we debated whether the reciprocal formula MAX = 2 (x-7) would then apply. By this logic, the oldest woman I should date now would be 38, or perhaps, the youngest guy a 38 year-old woman should date would be me. Although, if you asked any four-year old, they would tell you that I am actually 26 and a half, thus pushing my upper bracket to 39.

But after much debate, and countless cases of beer, the question remains: Does this actually work? In our society, it is still generally more accepted for the man in the relationship to be the elder of the pair. Should The Formula then be modified for women? Or should we consider that truly, love knows no bounds... just ask Ashton, or Catherine Zeta.

I am still undecided. Please feel free to make any formula submissions. Bring your ideas, and a case of beer, to Karachi Pakistan (ask for Dave) and we’ll work it out (careful with the beer at the border though).

And if anyone knows the actual origins of The Formula, let me know, I’m still curious, and Jeff is still a credit-taking bastard.